El Dia de Amor y Amistad

*I told my boyfriend, Patrick, that I do not wish for anything out of the ordinary on Valentine's Day. (I may be the only woman I know with this perspective.) Each to her own: I just am not into gifts or pressuring who I am dating to dish out money on gifts or an overpriced dinner. His love for me is proven every day on a day-to-day basis. Life is hard. He is strong. And he is there for me. No amount of gifts, roses, candy or jewelry could ever prove his commitment more to me than that.

That said, I love to reflect. And I love writing. I came across the following that I wrote September 13, 2006. Almost 5 months ago to the day. It was a turning point for me in our still young relationship. I am so proud to be here, P. I love you.

There is an idea of our relationship.

Undoubtedly in the minds of family.

Of friends.

Of our exes.

And our past.

But no one can come close, my Love, to understanding and deciphering just exactly what it means that both of us have arrived to this place. To this moment. To open ourselves to the utter happiness (and inevitable pain) that comes with trusting when one is not trusting by nature or is introverted, or has been through some traumatic experiences.

I shall work very hard to never fail you in what you have given me. That is my pledge to you.

A long time ago someone once told me that they couldn't return my love. That it was difficult to be responsible for, or on the receiving end of such feelings. I remember apologizing. Broken and confessing to myself that the only way I know how to love is to own a part of my mate's soul...

I never dreamed someone would be strong enough to want that kind of love. For the pain that is involved with that kind of passionate emotion can be utterly devastating and crushing.

We found each other only a short distance away. With already signs of our paths and past crossing. It was inevitable that I be yours someday. Wholeheartedly yours.

Absolutely everything hurtful that I have gone through in my life has been worth it now that I have you and know what a healthy relationship is. What an equal relationship should be. And to truly know what it is like for the first time to be in love with a man who knows how to give as well as receive.

I've dreamt about this feeling and your embrace since I was 13. Twenty-one years later I can say that I have undoubtedly found the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. Everything I laugh at or enjoy without you hurts because I want to share it with you. You are such an integral part of my life now that I can't imagine spending a day without seeing you.

I am so blessed.

I am so happy.

I am so in love.