Lo Que Sea

Remember this ditty from almost a year ago?

”For it’s in Times like this
She would be tempted to spit
If she wasn’t so ladylike?

…
What can we do?
What can we do with all this Useless Beauty?
All this Useless Beauty…”

The people who don’t understand me or don’t care to or who just are plain bullies in my life won’t get it. Can’t get it. I am not referring to the outer beauty. But those of you with cold hearts and who live to torment and misunderstand me will think that is how I mean it and try to cast your evil, wicked INCORRECT judgments on me. What is the point?

Tell me – what is the blasted point of it all???

I live to be misunderstood, it seems. My whole life it has happened. It STILL happens. With hurtful, evil people who torment me and even those who supposedly care. What is the point of it all??!!!!

I have always been alone. And you all roll your eyes and think that I’ve had some long-term relationships – NO! I’ve always been alone. And it seems to be my destiny.

No one understands it. No one gets it. And I accepted it long ago. It wouldn’t matter so much if I didn’t have to so much to give and so much goodness and charity that I was taught by my parents.

A truly colossal waste.

I live inside my head.

I live inside my nightmares.

I am utterly alone.

And I don’t trust a damn one of you.