Lose yourself in "Lost"

Think what you want but people are not talking about the Superbowl this week - - they are talking about the new season of the TV show "Lost" on ABC. (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Now, I am a stickler for good acting and even better writing - if you have both (especially the latter) you can have a show about any kind of subject or story line and it will go well. But, LOST not only has the above going for it but it has the most insane, mind-boggling, scary, suspenseful, mysterious, inexplicable and exciting storyline all in one! It is simply unbelievable what this show has - - advenutre, romance, sex(iness), humour, tragedy (death - YES - they even KILL off main characters to keep it realistic - how ballsy is that!?). Wait I am not done: it also has an amazing ensemble cast repesenting all minorities - Korean, Mexican, a pregnant lady, a parapalegic, a psycho, murderers, criminals, doctors, an alcoholic, a druggie, an Iraqi torturer from the Rebel army, Causcasian-American, African-American, African, senior citizens, kids, a cute baby, Australian, British, the sexiest southerner you ever did see, a Brazilian, a musician, a priest, a lesbian (Michele Rodriguez - who was killed off probably cus she was not believable playing a straight woman); an Irishman, a cuban-american, a monster to scare you and even a labrador dog for animal lovers..can't think of any more at the moment but you get the gist.

Every episode is like a mini-movie and the cliff-hangers are nail-biting. I still think the best one was end of season 1 with the boy Walt - being kidnapped at sea by some perverse-looking trailer trash old man with a whiskey voice - and screaming for help at his helpless father who they shot and fell overboard (and we all know that african-americans don't, uh, tend to swim well).

Everyone has hopped on the LOST train and I know of several who seem to do it to be cool because their friends watch it, but I am OG - baby - been there since Day 1. Being somewhat still in the Industry, I had heard about it while in pre-production and that it was amazing and different than anything else on TV. Also, I was familiar already with its creator JJ Abrahms (I was already a fan of his "Alias"- which proved to show major promise for such a young, newbie in Hollywood).

I will never forget watching that first episode alone in my room and being absolutely TERRIFIED at the plane crash and drawn immediately to the main characters. GREAT STUFF and if you want to get into it now - I highly suggest watching the 8 minute catchup (fun, creative and funny) video on ABC.com.

Luckily, the show was able to shoot 8 episodes (half a season) before the devastating writer's strike - making it virtually the only new show on TV right now - besides game and reality shows. Thank goodness! I canNOT wait!!

A`Flickr' of Natural Talent..

When I was a 9th grader at Bonita Vista Jr. High School here in San Diego, I was on the school newspaper and yearbook staff - huh...and you possibly thought this little writing hobby I do on this blog was only something I partake in as an adult? NOPE.

I was a Page Editor as well as writer for the Newspaper and I was solely responsible for the 2 pages dedicated to school dances in our yearbook. Hey, school dances are of HUGE social importance when you are a teen - haven't you seen those 80s movies like "Pretty in Pink" or "16 Candles"???

Anyhow -I was not a photographer for either of the publications as I had had no experience before in my life taking pictures. That said, one of my friends was on the staff and if you were you could 'check out' and carry around with you for the day one of the 3 expensive school cameras. (**This would NEVER happen with todays' hoodlums...er students by the way: they'd be robbing it and selling it on the streets or selling it on ebay - shoot). We are talking pre-digital circa 1986 here, folks. Nonetheless, it was a good Canon camera with a zoom lens and everything.

So my friend had checked out the camera and me being such a goody-goody and trustworthy and all, I was able to borrow it from her for about 2 hours of her day. I remember clearly it was the first time I had ever held a camera that large and with a lens that moved focusing in and out. I had no idea what I was doing - but I looked through that lens and immediately noticed that framing the subject matter should be important and shot with care. I also saw through that black lens the contrasts between the subject facing into the light as opposed to being backlit. this could drastically alter the quality of a photo. I continued to shoot a few pics at the end of one class and during lunch break before returning the camera.

Later that week the film was developed and Miss Johnson, our teacher, asked, "Who took these pictures? These are pretty good - we will definitely use them." I was shocked and so pleased with myself as I shyly raised my hand to take due credit. In the span of only using the camera for 2 hours and not even being on the photography staff - a few of my photos were selected and published over the work of regular photo staffers whose sole purpose the entire year was to take and supply photographs to the newspaper and yearbook.

I can honestly say that since that age of 14 something in me clicked (no pun intended) as far as loving and appreciating good and creative photographs. It is of no importance the subject matter - nature, people, places, architecture, animals, abstract, colors, models, nudes - as long as it's well done, I will gladly look at it and appreciate it. Now, over 20 years later I still love taking pictures although for money and time reasons was never was able to invest in a good camera or to take a class. And now with digital - it's all mind-blowing that one can take a decent photo even with a $100 pocket camera! Patrick, a year and a half ago when we first vacationed together turned up his nose at my still using my film camera held together by tape that I had been using over 10 years since college and had traveled with me to South America and to Europe several times! He insisted upon gifting me a new digital pocket camera (against my wishes) - but I admit I love the ease of its usage - no doubt.

You know when you have someone borrow your camera to take a picture of you and your friends, or you and your man on vacation and they cut off your feet or there is way too much sky, etc? That lack of basic 'eye' for photography drives me bonkers! To this day friends and coworkers have complimented my always getting a good photo when I use their camera - -too bad the favor, most of the time, cannot be returned when I ask them to take one with mine - drat! My man, Patrick, meanwhile, also has a love and talent for photography. But he actually does his research and reads online programs, and magazines, learning photoshop, tips on lighting, etc. He also has invested some serious money in various lens and cameras - something I have not. I have really enjoyed seeing him improve IMMENSELY within just the last year. And one of our favorite things to do together is travel or even take day trips to some place where we both can shoot - him with all his gadgets and me with my little camera he gave me. :)

If you are an 'elsamart' reader you obviously have or can see my work posted under the titles on my blogs and especially when you click on my 'web albums' that accompany some of my blogs. I also have a free and public account on the very cool website, "Flickr" from Yahoo. Go to my page here http://flickr.com/photos/elsamart/. I don't have that many posted as I prefer to use any time with my blog instead but feel free to check it out and leave a comment. Also, may I suggest looking at some of P's fine work at http://flickr.com/photos/padraigmerr/. I am really impressed with the talent of people on this site - one can spend much time just browsing and looking at pictures. Fabulous, indeed...

Unexpected...

...was your finding me in the first place right when I was about to disappear. Unexpected was also what you expressed to me late yesterday on a rainy night...
I love you, P.

Morning Beauty

Lately it's been raining - thank goodness, because we need it. It's been less than 3 months since we had the fires burn and ravage thousands of miles in San Diego and Southern CA last October (see some of my blogs on it here and here). Since then, one of morning rituals is to get up and say my morning prayers and ask to be blessed in the coming day in front of the window that faces Mt. San Miguel and Sweetwater - where fires came dangerously close (within 8 miles of my home) forcing me to pack up Jordy-the-cat and leave at 2am.

In the morning the mountain and view is always beautiful - sometimes it is shrouded with fog, sometimes the sky is cloudy with gray texture and other times it's already blue with the promise of a clear day. But my greatest curiosity and joy is that every single day I see green grass and nature beginning to sprout through all the charred blackness. It truly makes me smile and I always give it some mental encouragement. With the rains this week, the green growth has rapidly spread and increased - and with it so does my strength and belief in myself and my little problems and worries that, no matter what, as long as I have Faith in God and myself - Life goes on and new beauty is born and will always continue to grow... :)

Next time I'll just have some Vodka

So the other night I went out to dinner with a few people to a fabulous Georgian (as in south of Russia, not OUR South) restaurant in North Park, San Diego called "Pomegranate". In one aspect I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I don't eat meat and had no idea what the menu would be like besides vodka.

Anyhow, it was a pleasant time out at a very cool place (but extremely loud), complete with real Russian (hey can I call the migra on them, too???) waiter and waitress (man, her voice was so low and sexy) and an old, grumpy Russian man who sat in a corner by a bunch of wine and glared at all of us as he opened any bottles of wine as anyone would order some. We never really knew what his deal was - he looked like he hated us and he didn't move from there - maybe he was the owner??

There was an old piano in the middle of the restaurant that some of us tinkered on - it was so loud in this small place that it actually didn't even bother the tables right next to us who were yelling to be heard anyway. The decor was very interesting - a combination of cool Russian artwork and trinkets but then set off by mood lighting created by (a la trailer park) a hung light string of plastic jalapeno different colored lights. Also, one was able to write and scribble on pen ANYWHERE in the restaurant - walls, the ceiling fan, (gasp!) the wooden grey upright piano - some of the writing was in Russian, we saw Chinese characters, Spanish, English - some were jokes, some were crude, some were complimentary. Favorite examples: by the metal rooster artwork someone commented, "Nice Cock!" Also, "Stomach full, everyone's happy, now time to go home and take a Nappy". There also was a dare I say - worn - pair of tighty whiteys pinned up on the wall and scribbled on but being a lady I diverted my eyes, of course.

I had never had Russian wine before and, in fact, don't really like wine at all. But the group, of course, ordered a bottle and I was obliged at the toast to try a little bit. It was... utterly DELICIOUS!! Sweet, dark cherry and grape juice-tasting - I had never had anything like it. Everyone was impressed and another bottle was promptly ordered by someone with a big mouth and opened by the Grumpy man in the corner. The downside of it being so juice-like and sweet was that it was a quick drink - like punch - and then it crept on you since it is alcohol after all. I had only about 2 real swallows of it and was decidedly more relaxed after a rough week. But then of course the bill came. Hence the title of this blog. Why the heck is it that when you go out with a group of people you get stuck putting in a crap load of money when you just had the equivalent of a salad and water??? Sheet!!!

God Bless them - but some people had an appetizer or 2 and an entree. I had an appetizer only. Now, even though I only had a couple sips of wine compared to others who had 2 small tumblers of it, I wasn't NOT going to put in for the wine. Well, my appetizer was $9.50, tip it 2 more bucks is plenty, right? I'm thinking I'll be a big spender and put in the whole $20 dollar bill I just got out of the ATM earlier that day. Meanwhile, one gal got up and left early to 'get to her dog' and threw an indeterminate couple bills down. (When I saw her leave, I knew what what up - the sneaky devil). Translate: she probably got off not paying what she should - oldest trick in the book..

Meanwhile, everyone else is digging in pockets and then we count up. We are, OF COURSE, totally short. I ain't budging. I put in plenty and I had nothing else on me, truthfully. That is when it happened, and I saw it coming a mile away: someone suggested easily, "Well, there were 8 of us, divide it and everyone owes 40 bucks."

**Sound of the needle scratching the record**

"What the???!!!" I am thinking inside to myself. 40 bucks for a small appetizer less than 10 bucks and a couple sips of wine, when others ate their fill - oh hell, no!!!

Alas, and it has always happened in the past, and always will in the future when one goes out in a big group of people to eat - best start asking to try everyone's else food as well cus you gonna end up paying for it!!

It Ain't EVER gonna happen..

 

... Mark my words, folks: E will never...ever....get....m -m -ma-mar.... married in a real wedding dress....heh heh heh!

**But I suppose I don't mind modeling them.... one must put food on the table after all....

English Translation

 Alas, I've been asked twice today to translate my song from yesterday. Usually translating to English from Spanish completely loses its resonance and meaning since Spanish is a romantic language (and a romantic people!) and is full of fluid, flowery phrases and references to nature, beauty and drama. Whereas English is straight forward, boring and we don't speak that lovely way to one another. Nonetheless, I must admit that in this case, even in Spanish, artist Franco de Vita was as straight forward as one can get. So nothing below that makes me ache every single time I still hear it is 'lost in translation'...

A GOOD LOSER

I know that you are thinking of leaving me
I already know it
And I won't stop you:
Do whatever you want to do.

However, remember that I will be
here in the same place.
And if you ever feel like talking,
I'd love to listen.

And if he knows how to give you more love..
knows how to fill you with it better than me:

Then clearly I will know how to lose.
Of course I know how to lose.

There's no need to fall apart.
Those tears are more than enough.
If you need to go:
Go already.

Nonetheless, I was hoping you'd stay
but one must allow running water to flow.
Meanwhile I'm choking on words
that I did not know how to say.

And if the winds blow in your favor
I won't hold any resentment towards you, no.

Of course I know how to lose:
it won't be the first time.
Today you leave,
tomorrow I'll be going myself.

I will be a good loser.
For the World isn't going to change.
Besides, it is without a doubt that
someone will eventually take your place...

Un Buen Perdedor

 Ahhh.. this song by Venezuelan (of Italian parents) superstar (and still going strong) Franco de Vita was one of the first spanish pop ballads I ever learned or heard when I was in my Mexican Identity Crisis stage during my college years in the early 90s and learning most of my spanish through listening to music and translating lyrics. (*note - the song was from the 80s, but I didn't discover it until the summer of 1990).

I even remember about 5 years ago, my previous neighbor, an African American gay man who didn't speak a lick of spanish heard me playing this song and was so moved that he let himself into my house and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh - that song is AMAZING! And I don't understand a thing! It sounds so dramatic!!" I remembering answering with a knowing smile, "And if you knew WHAT he was saying, you'd be even more impressed!"

This song is so inspiring and beautiful, with its driving no-nonsense piano chords and sweeping strings making the music sound almost cinematic. It literally urges its listener to take the higher moral ground that the lyrics encourage. Alas it garners a place on my Top 5 List of (musical and lyrical) Song PERFECTION.

Sé que piensas marcharte, ya lo sé
Y no te detendre
Haz lo que tú quieras

Sin embargo recuerda que
yo estare aquí en el mismo lugar
Y si solo tienes ganas de hablar,
con gusto escucharé

Y si el supo darte más amor
Supo llenarte más que yo...

Claro que sé perder,
Claro que sé perder

No tienes porqué disimular,
esas lágrimas están de más
Si tienes que irte,
véte ya

Sin embargo esparaba que te quedaras
Pero el agua hay que dejarla correr
Mientras yo me tragaba palabras que no pude decir

Y si el viento hoy sopla a tu favor
Yo no te guardaré rencor

No, claro que sé perder
No será la primera vez
Hoy te vas tú,
mañana me iré yo

Seré un buen perdedor
Y el mundo no cambiará
Alguien sin duda ocupara tu lugar...

Love me Love my Cat

Ohhh yeah... I am definitely one of them crazy, cat-owning spinsters. My tabby cat, Jordy, understands me better than anyone. He feels my pain and my excitement. He suffered through relationships with me, being evacuated with the October fires, moving several times like the gypsy I am... and he still loves me. And I love my cat. I decided I really should get him on video cus one day my little Jordino won't be around.

Extra kudos go to anyone who can identify why or from where I get the "shnarf shnarf" talk that I tell him...

Autism asks, "What kind of World do YOU want?"

I posted a blog a while back akin to this.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

I am asking, again, for anyone out there to click and watch this video on autism. My nephew, Ryan, is one of the children that you can learn about in the video. My heart breaks as my sister and brother-in-law try to get through a day at a time with their son. No one can really imagine their pain and patience unless we all had a child that could not communicate his basic needs with us.

Evidently the lead singer of Five for Fighting has an autistic brother. And his band will donate 40cents to research every time this video is viewed.

Please don't skip over this blog because you do not (have to) relate to it. Consider it your duty in compassion and helping those so desperately in need. These kids can't speak. But I can. Help out. I thank you for it..

I'm Happy....

 

My Irish Sailor

New Years Day 2008

Today is the first day of the New Year. I am so excited about this year to come. I feel that 2008 has the huge capacity to be a life-changing year. Work it out!!!

2007 was full of ups and downs. That said, it's all a learning experience and I've never been one who has been a stranger to pain and conflict. I'm a strong mujer with a great (albeit sensitive) head on my shoulders and I can get through anything.

I'm so thankful for being able to travel this year - my one and only splurge. A trip to P's native Ireland to meet his folks was lovely and historical, a fabulous San Fran family wedding in a posh hotel also celebrating P's bday was great fun, camping in the Big Sur, a trip to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and the red rocks of Sedona, not to mention 2 photography trips to the Salton Sea. I am so blessed to travel each year more than many do in 3.

2007 was also a year of sadness. First we had the devastating fires of Southern California in October. By God's grace my family and friends were all okay - although a couple of us had to evacuate in the middle of the night - very, very unsettling. But seeing the aftermath of it in my community was crushing - although I am so proud of people coming to the aid of those in need.

December also brought the unexpected, premature death of a schoolmate of mine (and member of my beloved showchoir family - The Music Machine) Jason Garcia. My earliest memory of Jason was at the first 7th grade dance at Bonita Vista Jr. High School. I remember being a wallflower (shy and sweet) watching him slow dance with the first of many pretty girls that he dated. Handsome, an athletic star in football and baseball, class-clown, Big Man on Campus and all sorts of things like that - Jason was one of the most popular guys I grew up with. I never would have dreamed that years later he'd be singing and dancing alongside me in our highly competitive showchoir wearing (yes!) tight wight pants and blue sequins! That just shows how cool and open-minded a dude he was. My prayers go out to his new bride and family. It was yet another wake-up call for me that even being young and healthy doesn't mean that all cannot change within a single day. Rest in Peace, Jason.

I am the most appreciative person I know. But I'm also the most sensitive - sometimes I think my heart and feelings are too big for my body - to the point where it takes a toll on me and those involved with me. Ay, P...I am so in love with my boyfriend Patrick and I know that he knows it. I just hopes he acknowledges how thankful I am for the patience he's exhibited in dealing with my head. His decisions haven't been all peaches and cream either this year - but I'm proud of us being together. And, gee whiz, I really miss him and Ciara and await their return from Ireland. Nothing matters in this world without having loved ones to share it with.Happy New Year, ya'll! :)