80s Song of the Week - Duran Duran "Save a Prayer"

After an exhausting last couple weeks I can sure use a dose of my 80s fave: the Fab 5 of Duran Duran. Say what you want, fan or not: this was one of the most melodically and lyrically beautiful (if abstract) songs of the decade. It still gives me goosebumps and the video is so beautifully shot, once again, in a foreign, exotic land - all of it forming unattainable but well worth it dreams in the imagination of a teenage Elsa. I will always lose myself in it..

I'm Better, Sto meglio, estoy mejor ahora

It's hard to hurt like that.
(Now that you caught a glimpse of my darkness).
But it's even worse to disappoint you.

For so long I wanted something
prayed for it
held my breath
and kept my fingers crossed

I counted my blessings
and wondered when
I'd know that which it was that
God had in store for me.

They were many a year of suffering
and learning hard lessons.

I am so ashamed
at having dramatically
underestimated you

But that pain and darkness
I identify as strength.
Strength that enables us to comprehend
one another.

For the first time in my life
I understand that I finally will not be let down or betrayed.

And I give my utter thanks to God for that.

Lo Que Sea

Remember this ditty from almost a year ago?

”For it’s in Times like this
She would be tempted to spit
If she wasn’t so ladylike?

…
What can we do?
What can we do with all this Useless Beauty?
All this Useless Beauty…”

The people who don’t understand me or don’t care to or who just are plain bullies in my life won’t get it. Can’t get it. I am not referring to the outer beauty. But those of you with cold hearts and who live to torment and misunderstand me will think that is how I mean it and try to cast your evil, wicked INCORRECT judgments on me. What is the point?

Tell me – what is the blasted point of it all???

I live to be misunderstood, it seems. My whole life it has happened. It STILL happens. With hurtful, evil people who torment me and even those who supposedly care. What is the point of it all??!!!!

I have always been alone. And you all roll your eyes and think that I’ve had some long-term relationships – NO! I’ve always been alone. And it seems to be my destiny.

No one understands it. No one gets it. And I accepted it long ago. It wouldn’t matter so much if I didn’t have to so much to give and so much goodness and charity that I was taught by my parents.

A truly colossal waste.

I live inside my head.

I live inside my nightmares.

I am utterly alone.

And I don’t trust a damn one of you.

Mi Salvacion

To anyone out there who knows me - this is 'Love to Me'. Can you possibly understand??

News Flash!!

After pulling a "Tanya-Harding" on possible winner Leilani Ali, Elsa Martinez will take her place on the TV show "Dances with the Stars"!!!!!

Visual DNA

I really recommend doing this - it was thought-provoking and
interesting to see how your personality is determined by your visual
choices.

Click link and follow
instructions. Choose the picture that best determines your answer and
then the end will give you a very interesting perspective on your
personality!

Here are excerpts of my results of how my mood personality is a "Sophisticate" (romantic and love the beauty of open spaces). For fun I am an "Escape Artist" I love physical activity, and further myself by traveling around the world - so true!!!. My Love personality is "Touchy Feely"(more sexual than most). My Habits personality is "New Wave Puritan" - I like to know what's going on, I am healthy about what I put in my body and my home design taste is cool, contemporary. Lastly
that I favor the natural look: not too muscular in men, and not fake boobs and other plastic surgery in women. I am stylish, yet simple! :)

"I pity the Foo!"

** In light of a rough week for our country, I feel a little humour is needed :)

ok, who knows who said that headline title? (If you are under the age of 30, you can probably forget it heh heh heh). Here's a hint: the 80s and a mohawk with a lot of gold chains... no, it's not a drag queen: I refer to Mr. T. A friend of mine with a great sense of humour sent me this. Mr. T rapping and in Daisy Duke shorts is a must-see. And it carries a great message...

Mr. T treat your mama right

Fable

You can look in the forest
for a secret field
for a golden arrow
for a prince to appear
for a fable of love that will last forever

You can look in the ruins
for a wishing well
for a magic apple
for a charioteer
for a fable of love
that will carry you
to a moon on a hill
to a hidden stream
a lagoon
and a red horizon stream
silhouette
sail away from time
forever

To a valley beyond
the setting sun
where Irish waters shine
and Arabian horses run

Where there is a love who looks for you

But
while you look
you are changing
denying.
You're a well of wishes
you're a fallen apple

And I can't bear it - No!

Love's a fake.
Love's a fable.
Just a painting
on a European ceiling.
Just a children's fairy tale.

And still you want to look
and look and look and look
and look:
for those dark eyes on a bridge
in the pouring rain
Not just his 'dark' eyes
but the part you can't explain
For the arms you can fall into forever
For the joy that you thought
you'd never know
For here, at last, away you go
to a man who looks for you

And if you find
in the world
in this great, troubled world
that someone sees
that someone knows you:
then, Love!
Love, if you can, my darling.
Love, if you can and let yourselfbe loved!

May it last forever...

Virginia Tech

"No one deserves a tragedy," stated animatedly a professor at Virgina Tech. I sit here watching live coverage of the gathering held in the gymnasium of this fine university where it appears the entire student body united to hear President Bush and school administration give speeches, prayers and reflections. As the camera panned the audience of young 20-somethings my heart ached to see students bent over in prayer, holding hands, crying, stoic, shell-shocked. Many students wore their school colors. The orchestra played, "Amazing Grace" and I reflect that that is exactly what the speakers displayed as they speak to the audience. Buddhists, Muslims, Christians and Jews alike came together to share words and pray: united as Americans.

No one deserves a tragedy. And my thoughts, prayers and condolences go to all those affected. My mom once gave me during a very difficult time in my life the phrase from the Bible, "For in Fire, Gold is tested." These kids will prevail and be better people than they ever expected or can even comprehend right now. But right now it's a time to mourn.

God Bless...

P n E at Joshua Tree

It was another lovely Spring weekend memory made with my Patrick. This time we packed up my gas-efficient Scion and headed out to the Southern California desert park of Joshua Tree. Only 2 hours away, I try to go every spring as I love desert, dry heat, hiking and camping. Patrick had never been and this is the best time of year to go, so it was a no-brainer.

During a most-enjoyable drive up P entertained me for once (hahaha) with some stories of his youth in the Navy. I love it when he tells me stories, as I am very good at it myself and it runs in my family and culture. Story-telling runs in his Irish culture as well, but P doesn't have E's "gift to gab". :)

We stopped off first in Palm Springs – also a first for my man. The weather was perfect – warm, about 88 degrees – but not too hot. We parked, and strolled around the main street, stopping in galleries and boutiques that caught our fancy. It was such a charming afternoon there! One interesting thing we both noted was how gay-friendly (“Frisco!!”) the town had become. They even had a “Hamburger Mary’s” bar there – it was HUGE in Hillcrest, San Diego. Being the Gay Man’s Best Girl Friend that I am, this accelerated my good mood to an even better level.

Eventually we made it into the Park – after making us drive the long way around it to the 29 Palms Northern entrance – oopps! It was late afternoon – the best time to take pictures. Patrick is becoming increasingly involved in his photography and this trip was definitely an invitation to partake in it.

Joshua Tree Park is interesting. One is able to enter at one entrance and drive completely through to the opposite side. In doing so, you can see and enjoy the different ecosystems and plant growth according to the elevation. We started out in flat lands with many Joshua Trees and then enjoyed the famous Jumbo Rocks in the middle of the park – which have a red sheen at sunset – (but there was too much cloud-coverage that day). Many rock-climbers flock to the rocks nowadays – I couldn’t believe how many were scrambling up those HUGE boulders like spiders. Very cool.

Eventually we ascended some hills where it definitely got cooler and I had to break out my jacket. After enjoying the view (but not the strong, cold winds) – we headed back down again to see a different desert terrain with blooming, tall Ocatillo bushes. All very stark but lovely.

Early the next morning we got up early to embark on one of the several hikes. We chose to do the short 2.5 hour loop to Mastedon Peak. Along the way we got to enjoy 2 natural oasis’ and an abandoned gold mine. The weather had cooled – perfect for hiking. I think Patrick took about 500 pictures! We will definitely head back again in the Fall.
Click below for my short photo gallery slideshow!

Joshua Tree 2007

Autism Activists

If you know me or have read my blog at all you understand that one of my beautiful nephews is autistic. Sadly, we still have a long way to go to understanding the illness and its causes. And much money and research is needed for a breakthrough. Having said that, the pop group Five for Fighting is donating 49 cents to Autism Speaks every time someone watches the video to one of their songs submitted by a family with 2 brothers with autism. It is simply just a photo gallery: but its sweetness and warmth made me cry. I wish our little Ryan had a big brother that was so protective and good to him. But he is well loved by our huge extended family. Gracias a Dios. Please watch and pass along so that money may be donated. Thank you and thanks to the band for the donation.

Please click on link

80s Song of the Week - Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams are made of This"

Good Lord - I am long overdue on posting a blog revealing my 80s Song of the Week. *Sigh* Please forgive. I just got back into town tonight and have a splitting headache. But I feel much better listening to the very kick-ass expressive yet soothing alto voice of Annie Lennox from "Eurythmics". LOVE HER and this song is practically synonymous with the 80s. The video is strange, and creative and she looks fabulous with her signature short crew-cut and pale, pale British complexion. She was definitely a pioneer, and can claim to have one of the first videos portraying androgyny. I love how her movements are fierce, and move on the downbeat of each phrase in a very dramatic way while her partner (and ex boyfriend) Dave Stewart keeps up with the musical rhythm of the synthesizer. For his part, Stewart was very innovative with his production techniques in all their songs. This musical duo had many major hits and I still enjoy their unique sound of intelligent pop. I just never understood the part about the cow...
Enjoy!

This is Love to me

Few can understand it.
But the fact is:
I am not well most of the time.
And I really suffer.

Hours like this can seem an eternity.
And I feel all my armour slipping
off of me.

One of the strangest things
I will never understand
is how someone
who has shown such strength -
can hurt so much?

...

I'm better now.
And I appreciate feeling my Love's warmth
and his little ones tight embrace.


"This is Love to me,"
sings my musical hero.
My champion whose words and lyrics
have moved me to such angst and beauty
that only one with my head could truly,
truly feel and recognize
the purity and pain captured in a dissonant chord
and a single sentence of a lyric.

I need this lullabye tonight.
Now I am 'not alone'.

Bombay Beach - Salton Sea

Patrick decided on an impromptu Sunday road trip a couple weekends ago that took us to the Salton Sea in El Centro, CA. About 2.5 hours drive away - I'm ashamed to say that I hadn't even ever heard of it. He was wanting to go since he is a member of flikr.com (a photography website for pros and amateurs) and he had perused some great photos from this place.

At 376 square miles, it's the largest (and most polluted) body of water in California, a major bird refuge, but it's rarely visited or discussed except for it's evidently being a strange magnet for photographers (3 different sets of cars came out just while we were there!) The sea was created in 1905 when an accidental diversion of the Colorado River near Yuma, Arizona flooded the Salton Basin.

Because the artificial inland sea had no natural stock of fish, man stocked it where, at first, they thrived: making the sea a draw for fishermen. In the 1950s, much of the land around it was purchased by real estate investors, who developed motels, marinas and RV parks along the beach. It become known as California's sunny inland "Riviera". Evidently, you can find postcards of people sailing, fishing and playing in the water in resort towns like Mecca, Salton City and Bombay Beach.

Over time, however, agricultural pollutants, evaporation and toxins caused huge fish and bird die-offs -- as many as 640 dead birds a day. It now stinks of rotting fish and fertilizer, and as we walked along the shore at Bombay Beach, it only took a moment to realize that the sand isn't sand at all, but millions of vertebrae, ribs and the occasional whole, dried, dead fish. Yikes.

Not unsurprisingly all the surrounding towns went bankrupt. The motels and marinas were abandoned, and all that's left of Bombay Beach is a scattered community of trailer homes, shacks with broken windows that nevertheless look like they might be occupied, and an abandoned block of houses and trailers that flooded many years ago. It is a virtual ghost town in the middle of nowhere. "Perfect for a David Lynch film," keenly observed Patrick.

There was even a quaint run-down bar which we walked into thirsty as hell after wandering around sight-seeing and taking pictures in the dry heat. It was just perfect. After stepping over a huge-headed but docile Pit Bull who lay panting in the shade of the open doorway, we entered and saw there was an old lady tending bar with a large fan directed so that it blew towards her. The place could have held probably about 50-60 customers but there was only 3 old men - obvious regulars from the trailer park just steps away - seated at the bar. P and I nodded our heads, "Hello" to them all and took our place at the bar. This place was the only sign of life that we had seen since arriving (besides the other photographers who stopped by only momentarily). Patrick ordered a cold Bud Light which he said was the 'best cold Bud he'd ever had' after walking around in that heat. We listened to the conversation between the town folk and the barlady - it was just so slow, old-fashioned and surreal. Very, very cool.

Driving to Imperial County to visit a stinky lake and abdonded buildings in blazing heat is definitely not just anyones cup of tea. That said, I later told Patrick that was one my favorite days I'd ever had the pleasure to spend with him. :)

Simple pleasures ya'll..simple pleasures.

Bombay Beach

Click on slideshow above!

Happy Easter, all you bunnies!

It was a chilly but lovely day at the Martinez household where most of my large extended family gathered to celebrate Easter and all God's blessings. Significantly, Patrick and his daughter, Ciara, accompanied me to my parents' house. For some of my uncles, aunts and cousins this was the first time they have met Patrick and I can tell you it was not without significant pride and pleasure to have him there with me. As expected, my loud, large latino family extended all the warmth and teasing that they would on each other as Ciara played with the grandkids having already bonded several times in past months and Patrick was obliged to a game of "horse" on the basketball court with the men (Cousin Matt and Dr. Joe sizzled but Gabe was the winner!) It was also cousin Leslie and Conan's son, "Baby Blake's" first easter that he could partake in since he now walks, smiles at everyone and sought out easter eggs during the hunt. Laughter, playing with my Uncle Alex' beautiful huge puppy-dog, Rommel, and one mega candy and egg hunt later: we collapsed stuffed with delicious meals and desserts. Much love and blessings to all my family, especially those who were unable to attend - we, of course, included you in our long Nana Margie prayer, complete with singing. Click on slideshow below!

Easter 2007

David Sylvian

One day I am going to dedicate about a month of this blog talking about music. Talking about my favorite artists, genres, composers, musicians and performers. That said: I am going to jump the gun a bit and introduce you all to one of my Top 2 my favorite recording artists/composers/lyricists ever: David Sylvian. More on him later. For my current mood and situation though, I am really needing his soothing voice and knowing words from the single, "Orpheus" (album: Secrets of the Beehive).

Standing firm on this stoney ground
The wind blows hard
Pulls these clothes around
I harbour all the same worries as most
The temptations to leave or to give up the ghost
I wrestle with an outlook on life
That shifts between darkness and shadowy light
I struggle with words for fear that they'll hear
But Orpheus sleeps on his back still dead to the world

Sunlight falls, my wings open wide
There's a beauty here I cannot deny
And bottles that tumble and crash on the stairs
Are just so many people I knew never cared
Down below on the wreck of the ship
Are a stronghold of pleasures I couldn't regret
But the baggage is swallowed up by the tide
As Orpheus keeps to his promise and stays by my side

Tell me, I've still a lot to learn
Understand, these fires never stop
Believe me, when this joke is tired of laughing
I will hear the promise of my Orpheus sing

Sleepers sleep as we row the boat
Just you the weather and I gave up hope
But all of the hurdles that fell in our laps
were fuel for the fire and straw for our backs
Still the voices have stories to tell
Of the power struggles of heaven and hell
But we feel secure against such mighty dreams
As Orpheus sings of the promise tomorrow may bring

Huh??

Can someone please explain to me this print ad for toilet paper???? (Of course, it seems to be Italian...)

Feasting on strawberries like the Queen of Sheba...

It's another Elsa print-ad sighting this morning courtesy of my oldest sister, Ceci, while reading the paper in Long Beach...

Gym-Bunny Shannon Birthday

Saturday night was birthday fun for uber-chef with only 3% body fat Shannon who shared honors with friend Ramesh at his top floor pad in Northpark. Grilled food and homemade mojito drinks floating in a very classy black trash bag in the sink were downed like there was no tomorrow, while impromptu games of Poker, Uno and Twister turned ugly with the fierce competitors that attended. There were tons of fun and laughter. Many thanks and congrats to the birthday kids!!
Click on web album below for some not-so-pretty party pictures :)

Shannon 32 bday

We DID it!!!

It was a tough decision. We really haggled for it, price-wise. And it's definitely a fixer-upper. But it's OFFICIAL: Patrick and I bought our first house together this weekend!!! And we even got them to throw in the sofa chair....






PS - April Fools :)~