Back to my Musical Roots

For those of my appreciated readers who do not know me in person, I am a singer and have studied and performed professionally upside of about 15 years. I love many, many styles and genres of music but studied classical for several years - my mother setting the precedent. A naturally gifted, but untrained soprano herself, my mom blessed my 5 siblings and I with a gift for musical talent - all the girls learned piano, my closest sister in age, Sara, and I also took and excelled at violin before (regrettably) quitting to focus on our other talents. My brothers Ben and Gabriel both learned clarinet, with Gabe going on to study jazz and saxophone as an adult. The girls also all excelled at singing in school choirs. I was the only one who actually decided to major in music in college and try to make a living at it. Am I the fool or the most blessed of them all? It all depends on how you look at it.

Musicians, dancers, actors, artists - whatever genre - is an extremely difficult way to live. We truly are a breed apart from the norm. You pretty much know you will struggle to make ends meet your entire life and need some sort of survival side job - shoot I have 2 right now and have had 3 different ones in the past. But something inside - when you are truly studied and talented - makes you go on in spite of the compromises, stress and toll it takes on your families and relationships. Also, no matter how good a communicator I may be - - no one in my life has been able to comprehend my pain and yearning for my creative expression unless they are some sort of creative-arts person as well.

For there is something in me that aches and has always ached about music. I wasn't blessed with composing my own music, which is probably why I am so in awe of good composers and song-writers. I am extremely appreciative of harmonies and the feelings evoked by a single chord (especially dissonant ones). My mom, thankfully, was a wonderful role model and had the insight to expose us to classical music and Broadway musicals since I can remember. I grew up for years seeing my mom sing in the San Diego Master Chorale - with her Tuesday night rehearsals - - the ONLY hobby and time she'd take off being a very busy mother to 6 kids - might I add. Sunday mornings, the only day my father didn't work (owning his own CPA firm and especially during tax seasons, we didn't always see him much) was family and Church day no matter what - and it always started out with my mom waking up and automatically putting on the classical music radio station for us to wake up to and spend family time with. It makes its mark on you, folks: if you give it a chance.

Yes, I love classical music. And I was good at singing it too. Good enough to get a performance scholarship to several colleges - ultimately choosing UC Irvine and winning some singing contests. But upon graduating, I knew I wouldn't be good enough to truly be an opera diva and travel the world singing in opera houses - perhaps how my dear mother envisioned.

After finishing school my path crossed with many artists, actors, writers, directors, singers - and I ended up decided to also pursue acting and eventually also modeling in Los Angeles - not a bad choice, if also as difficult a path to choose as the music.

The truth is: the more talents you have - the more marketable you are to your agents. I still loved singing - I still also performed professionally doing musical theater. I was certainly well-rounded enough to also pursue straight (non musical) theater, comedy, drama, commercials and modeling as well as anything singing. But I essentially have not performed or studied my classical music since 1994.

And, oh - - how I have truly, utterly missed it...

It took me to be 35 years of age to realize several things in my very different, colorful and trying life. Some professionally, some of it personally, physically and mentally. But one of the biggest goals for this year for me was to let myself be happy again and fulfilled within the realm of getting back to my classical roots. That meant leaving a much-needed, great paying nighttime job, and also knowing I will be compromising other possible acting and modeling jobs with the year-long time commitment that I must give. Perhaps the hardest compromise is that I know my love for travel and even short trips might not prove to be as easy to get away should I delve back into professional music. That said - I am very thankful and blessed to announce that I auditioned and got accepted this morning to the talented (and very same) professional choir that my mother once sang in years ago - The San Diego Master Chorale. No doubt about it - although I looked decent on paper as far as my training and skills, the soprano voice part that I posses comes a dime a dozen and they were only looking for 2 new ones this year. I can't stress enough that I am for lack of a better word: rusty - when it comes to real singing. Classical music is a talent. It's difficult to be good. And one must be trained. At the audition not only did I sing, but we had a written test to see how much we were studied in music as well as having an oral singing, sight-reading and memorization test. I wasn't 100% pleased with my performance, stating dramatically at the end while thanking my critics that, "My old college professors would be disgusted with me for being so rusty." To which the director commented, "These were hard tests. We didn't expect anyone to ace them perfectly. The truth is you have a really, really good musical ear, Elsa."

I so rarely hear praise in my life - and I certainly knew I went in feeling somewhat self-conscious that I have not been in good voice for many years like I used to be. I was very grateful to hear his words, knowing he wouldn't just utter them. And the fact is: I do. I know I have a very good musical ear and talent and overall performing and presence package. But in a 12 year career of mostly rejections in the Arts - it was nice to know that a professional in the field could recognize that in me too. :)